Friday Night Football and Foolishness

Got invited to a Stampeders Game on Friday night.

The stands filled up quite nicely.

Tight security there. There are so many stories to tell about this guy on the right. He was so intense and didn't smile, wore the dark glasses (on the shaded side of the stadium)
Then theres this guy who just doesn't give a crap. He's there for the paycheque, not the notoriety of his position. The other guy was walking super slow, staring into the crowd, unsmiling, frowning even, looking for bad guys. The guy beside me, who independently noticed the unlikely duo securing the crowd's well being, said to me "its like the Unibomber and the Terminator". We made friends with the group behind and beside us and they were so funny. They said "He's not looking for people with beer, he's looking for weed." Then they started on what they imagined his response would be if he caught someone with the herbal magic. "Hey, you with the weed, meet me out back NOW, don't worry guys, I got this one - its already taken care of." We had so much fun. I hardly watched the game - not that I know a thing about football - but the crowd was fun, and we had a lot of laughs.

Theres Natalie, posing like security. Hoping Intense Guy doesn't turn around.

Then our seatmate went down and pretended he was security too. They tried to get me too, but with the drama that follows me so closely in life, it would be me that got escorted out on my butt, so I flat out refused.

Someone did find beer,,,,, check out the police presence. It was a young family. Escorted out by the police. But what was his first clue he was going to get searched? The Kokanee cooler backpack? If you're going to sneak booze in, be smart about it! We all felt sorry for the poor little boy. How humiliating. Talk about "Parent Fail".

The intense security guard was the focus of our 3 hours there. We literally laughed everytime we saw him. There was a beach ball going around the crowd, pretty common right? Pretty harmelss, no? Well, he confiscated it and DEFLATED IT!!! He was quite close to us, and what quickly became "our group" starting yelling "give me the ball", and booing and telling him he was a 'fun sucker'. I was laughing so hard. And quickly realized that aside from the two gentlemen beside me, the rest of our new friends were all under 24. I realized this as I WASN'T yelling! I WAS snapping pictures and video though.

And another time the odd couple were walking up the steps beside us, one of the guys starting yelling "ACT CALM, EVERYBODY. ACT.CALM"!!!! such fools.

That was my Friday night. Not bad, hey?

Theres Always A Reason

Just in case you had the question, I have the answer.

The reason I'm a little confused.

The reason I'm a little perplexed. Please note: The Chocolate Bar, Smokers Corner, and Health for Life. All in one building.

I don't fit into my clothes anymore ....

The reason Sandra and I howled laughing, followed by utter disbelief ... this guy had a dog on the back of his bike, going .... I'd say 120 km's on the highway in the rain !!!!!

The reason we didn't go to the Stampede Saturday night. We didn't feel like standing in line for hours, in the rain, with a bunch of hooligans who'd been drinking since 9am. We are old. We are mature. We stayed home and watched Office Space instead. And laughed for the 15th time as hard as we did the first time we saw it.

Reason I grabbed the 6YO and almost ran home from the park. Amidst his cries of "i haaaate when you walk this fast. slloooowwww dowwwwwwn". So I scooped him up and kept up my pace. And got home dry.

Further reason my clothes are tight. Plus, I drive everywhere here. I used to walk anywhere I needed to go in Hal!

Reason I'm never wearing that combination of clothes again. I have gained a little bit of lb-age, but not to the extent this picture would seem to prove. Honest. Oh. And also, the reason I'm never posing with a beaver again. WTF?

Later,

L.

You're Gonna Hate Me

Remember Sandra? Montreal? Makes jewellery? My bestie? Well, she was here for the weekend (infamous Stampede weekend). This is her pictured below. See the angelic smile, pretty green shirt? I love her. Alot. Like a sister. Truly, I do. She's super funny, she's genuine, smart, ambitious, caring, fun ..... etc. HOWEVER, she's kind of in my "bad-ish" books right now. She introduced me to a game in the short time she was here and its been messing with my head ever since. If you don't want to periodically curse this Sandra chick, don't keep reading. Skip to the next picture. Which is only a ruse. The others are only there to distract you in case you don't want to be made to feel like you are going to be committed because you think you are literally going crazy ....

I've warned you. So here goes:
We're driving down the Deerfoot (trying not to die in my Pontiac Wave - with traffic blowing by us and 99% of the vehicles 50% bigger than us) and she so innocently says "Oh, Lyanne (her sis) and I play this game when we're driving".
"Oh?" I say expectantly, as I'm always driving and can only listen to my "please poke my eyeballs out with a fork" voice while singing along to the radio for so long. I was kind of excited to learn of a new activity to engage in in my frequent travels, traffic jams. "what's the game?".
Her eyes get big and she sits up a little straighter, leans in and says "We try and make words with the letters in the licence plates". I must have looked at her funny because then she shrugs and says, a tad sheepishly, "its a long drive from Montreal to Toronto." And so it began.
So guess what I've been doing ever since? It like a living, moving crossword puzzle. You know what is even sadder than this crazy, panic-filled obsession as I watch cars whizzzz by me at speeds unknown? That I shout victoriously when I get a really hard one. I literally smile and say, (sometimes out loud) "Oh. Good one. That was very clever."
I have no way of knowing if you are still reading or you've skipped over to the creepy mascot and profane menu, except for the hate mail I'll receive in about a week when you realize that you JUST CAN'T STOP.

Love you San Ham!!!! xoxo Come back anytime. Really. I mean it. Just don't speak. :-)

On to the next. Don't look at the picture if you don't like bad words. This is on the brunch menu at a 'watering hole' in Calgary. I love it because its true. Most of its mundane. If you really think about it. Even before the coffee kicks in.

Then theres the crush of mascots 'round these parts during Stampede. I had to get my picture taken - why again? I'm not sure. But it seems we really persued this guy (girl, who the heck knows, right??). I asked him if he was smiling for the photo. He doesn't speak, and he/she/whatever, certainly didn't laugh. Sandra and I did. We thought I was pretty funny. Once.

Thats all.

Happy driving everyone!!!

I Am Still Laughing .....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wL_tbwWFQ-Q&feature=player_embedded

Nova Scotian Wit

Read the story first, then watch the YouTube vid. I love this band! Great story.

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/nova-scotia/story/2009/07/08/united-breaks-guitars.html?ref=rss

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YGc4zOqozo

Lego Fail

In 6YO's lego set.

A Walk in the Park

Well, not a park exactly - but a mall. After Ash and Riah's unfortunate turn of events, he went up to Fort McMurray with Barry to get the red car. So Iris was stuck on Barlow Trail with no wheels or carseats in the event, say I, or Dad could take them somewhere. We made lemondade though. We strapped on our best shopping shoes and made the trek to the nearest mall. And of course, Handley was stuck to Dad's side.

Chattering the whole way

Oops. Encountering logistical problems.

The girls - one on the right returned with more bags than she went with. Just a few. :-)

As much as the fender bender put a pretty big kink in their plans, it was nice to have another day to spend with Ash. Poor Uriah. Drove 14 hours, 7 by himself in boring, dangerous, unknown territory.