Remember I told you about the 'Stranger a Day' thing the girls and I were doing when we first got to camp? Well, one night, Sherri picked a young guy sitting alone and we followed suit. Poor guy was stunned when we descended upon his table and was so tired he could hardly keep his eyes open.
After our rapid-fire questions, and his obvious residence of Sydney Mines, him and I discovered that we had very close mutual friends in the Browns. So he and I hit it off and yakked and grabbed tea whenever we could. He was just a kid (23 or so) so I don't remember him hanging around while being around the Browns, but he spent a lot of days on Jessome Street. He had to cut out early since he'd worked so hard in the heat that day and was basically sleep-walking, but after that, we'd hang out when we saw each other, had the same gym schedule etc. Really great kid - educated, funny, great story teller, wanted to get out of his town and move to Calgary with his sister; was truly trying to move forward in life.
Anyway, long story short, he, and I'm very short on the facts here, overdosed the other night and was found deceased by his girlfriend.
I am so saddened by this. I saw him at my current camp as recent as November and we'd eaten a few meals together and he was having trouble sleeping so I gave him homeopathic pellets to put under his tongue to settle him, but I didn't take the time, against my intuition, to sit and 'talk' to him. I knew he was sad because we'd touched briefly on his life over our dinners.
I was in my office one day texting him as he was struggling so badly with 'too much going on in his head' and going days without proper sleep. I was going to ask him if he wanted me to go over to the lounge area to chat with him just so he could unload.
And I didn't.
I was too busy. I was a 25 second walk away from him and I was too busy.
While its true my job is the most intense I've ever had and I've never so honestly earned a paycheque in my life; what was so important about my spreadsheets and flight bookings and whatever else I do that I couldn't have taken 30 minutes out of my day to listen to someone?
Now I don't know if this overdose was intentional or an accidental mix of perscriptions he was on, and I don't feel that my not walking across the sidewalk to talk to him has changed the end result.
But it's a really sad lesson learned. I had the chance to help him and I didn't take it. I did a little bit, sure I texted him during the day, but I was too afraid of 'getting in trouble', 'getting a reputation of being lazy at work' to physically go over to where he was.
Pretty sure my work can wait; those engineers and transport managers and flight coordinators can wait a minute or two while I tend to my friend.
Makes you realize how precious a life is. He left a sister and a neice and nephew and a newborn (nephew maybe) who worshipped him and he likewise.
Weird for me to ask - but can you send a little prayer rocket up for them? I don't know what you'd say because asking for them to find comfort right now seems like a long shot ...
Sorry for the sad post and I don't quite know what its purpose is; probably to try and absolve myself.
We are called to love. Truly. I know I missed this chance, just how many do I not know about?
My prayer for myself right now is that my eyes, heart and ears would be tuned in a little finer for next time.
Theres no way to end this on a positive note, so I'm just going to sign off.
LLM
No comments:
Post a Comment