Good Riddance 2009

AN OPEN LETTER TO 2009

Dear 2009:

Don't take it personally, but you weren't really that kind to me and I'm prettt-y happy you're leaving tonight. You brought me greatness in all kinds of ways; wonderful experiences, lots of laughs and great new adventures. But you also brought me a whole lotta crap.

You tended to be tempermental and brought unpredicable winds of uncertainty and fear. You surprised me sometimes with little sunbursts of greatness and unimaginable wonder. Your good and bad, on paper, equal each other, but in reality, the good far outweighed the terrible. I've learned how to live on faith, how to lean into my family for support, and how to be vulnerable without being judged. Because of you, I've had to dig deep, be honest to myself and be real and be okay with my brokenness.

I guess I should thank you for showing the lows, of which I'd never thought I'd come out of, so I could know the real highs when they arrived and realize I deserved them.

I should also thank you for the absolute crap you threw my way, the days my world was crashing down around me, so I could fully appreciate that I was truly and fully loved while my family and new friends rallied around me.

I will also, with a full heart, thank you for the Seed. It has changed my world and has introduced me to the most sincere, authentic people I have ever met. It has shown me a side of life I hope to never know personally and that I had no idea existed to this extent. And that somewhere, somehow I can make a difference, be hope for someone besides wallowing in my own imperfect life.

Can you do me a favor, and pass the message along to Twenty -Ten that I'd prefer a quieter ride this time? I'd like more good this year, less of the drama, chaos and theatrics ?? While I appreciate your efforts to keep things interesting, can we just turn down the volume a notch this year? My request is less talk, more action. You know, show me the goods, don't just dangle them in front of me? Can you let me prove to myself that I'm not a complete flake who can't keep a job or man? I don't necessarily care what others think, but I'd like the chance for me, myself, Leanne to feel like I'm not a failure. I'm doing my part, can you please do yours?? I think you owe it to me.

I'm just sayin' !

A Couple of Forgotten Posts

A few odds n' sods here:

Tara Jo Deagle and I were cruising around getting lost one day when we came upon Center Street Church. "Ohhhhhh .... I've heard so much about it, lets go take a look" was her response.
So we did. And got a personalized tour (pronounced "two-er" here in Alberta, not "toor" (like four, like its spelled, like its said if you're a Maritimer)

So here she is in front of the water fountain which is also the humidifer for the entire building.

And this is it from its driveway. Its pretty massive. Its bigger than FAC, but we have way more charactor and personality ..... to our building that is. :-) Greg Granau is a pastor there. You'll see him in the photos below.

This Gerry and his daughter Marilee. So cool to meet her. She's itty bitty, totally personable and has such a kind heart. Which encapsulates both parents quite neatly.

If you click on the picture, it will enlarge it (just remember though when you come back to the blog, to hit the 'back arrow' and not the X) and you'll see the labels on everyone.

Sorry for the crap pictures ... my abilities as well as my camera make a really shoddy combination for enjoyable photos.

So there you have it. I'm missing a couple of ppl there, but it gives you a snapshot of the names you hear from me.

Hows that for random?? Centre Street and the Mathesons !

Cheers!

L.

It Was Christmas ...

Howdy Folks!


MyCalgary Christmas came and went. Thank goodness. Theres not much to report thats for sure, Cmas was a quiet one, unconventional to say the least. I'm not a huge fan of the holiday anyway, so I'm pretty happy to be moving forward into a new year, new adventures and all the good that comes from that.

Heres how it went down:

Christmas Eve:

Hurried, scurried and scrambled to get ready in time for the Christmas Eve service at church. I looked so cute in my cool black dress, it has a bit of a turtle neck, long sleeved, thin material, empire waist and a bit of a bubble skirt to it. Its lined with some slippery material, not nylon, but similar. Super dark black tights and the second coolest shoes I own. Suede, 4 inch heel, ankle boot with a bit of a bow on the side, and open toe. Lovely to look at, very trendy and very in a the moment. Key word is moment here. But not so lovely to walk in. I wore HUUUGE pearls, and looked very festive and ready for a church Christmas-y outing.

Of course I was late. My 'always-on-time'-ness has taken a hit here in Calgary. Did I mention theres 18 traffic lights between my house and church? Anyway, I rush in, take my coat off and proceed to walk towards the auditorium and the glances coincided with the very real feeling of my dress (did I mention it was on the short side?) inching up, well more accurately, 1/8 of an inch-ing up my leg with each step. I was mortified. Standing in the dressing room a couple of months ago hadn't yeilded these results. I knew it was shorter than normal but PERFECTLY respectable for a Christmas service. Honestly, it was. I am too old to wear scandalous things anymore and this dress passed the test. The dressing room test. Not the walking in front of 1.5 thousand people at a local conservative church. (and while I think sometimes some added spice is necessary, they didn't need the whole spice rack) So, I detoured to the ladies room, more glances received (probably now my imagination), quietly composed myself, reassured said self that this wasn't intentional and people would soon forget this ever happened.
I made my way to the service now, didn't even look around for my group, just asked an usher where "Ray's parents" were sitting. Thankfully, they sit at the back and my trek to my seat was a short one. Dee, laughing at me, threw her scarf over my lap and Auntie didn't even notice nor would she have cared. And THATs another reason I love them. I can show up half dressed and they're just happy to see me!

Afterwards we went to Ray and Dees for lots of amazing food. I substituted my 4 inch amazeballs shoes for green fuzzy socks.(the floor was cold) There was a mishmash of people there. I met David, the youngest of the Matheson siblings, who is so nice and quiet and sweet. He's a musician and lyricist, he writes songs, plays guitar and sings.

I came home and Maria and I exchanged presents, and we, along with Sarah and April watched The Pursuit of Happyness.

Christmas morning was so weird. I slept in, got up and made coffee, quickly realizing that I didn't have any breakfast food. So Maltesers it was. Did laundry, watched tv, called a smattering of siblings. Then to Ray and Dees' again for dinner. And again ate too much food. She makes this crazy Pistashio/Banana/Pecan salad that I just devour. I have such a sweet tooth.

Then I went to the Seed, had to take Dee's car. I was rocking the Ford Taurus pretty good since mine was e-m-p-t-y ... and didn't have time or fuel enough to drive around looking for an open station. The Seed was interesting. Lots of people were chatty and sharing. One guy who doesn't ever talk. Period. came up to me and we talked about Christmas' he had as a kid etc. I got to talk to 'favorites' and strangely, I got really, really sad and had to leave. I didn't cry or anything, I just felt deflated, got really lethargic (may have been the copious amounts of food consumed prior to) and said my goodbyes and drove the Taurus home again. It was nice to be there to hang out with the Seed guests though.

Back to Dee's for pumpkin pie. Totally worth the drive back. Totally.

Boxing Day I lounged ... I'm sensing a trend here ... went to the gym .... I'm not sensing a trend here ... :-) .... went to church ... went to work at the bar I take some shifts at at 9 til 3 and made some good coin whilst belly laughing almost the entire time. I literally enjoyed myself.

Yesterday was Seed day with , are you ready for this ...? two volunteers! Needless to say, not much got done.

Today was wonderful. I was invited to a family brunch at the Mathesons - and got to meet so many new cousins. What an absolutely wonderful family. I finally met Danny, (Ray and Dees' son) and we totally clicked. He's a pastor at a small church in Kitsilano Beach in Vancouver. His gf was with him, she's a sweet girl from South Africa (lovin' her accent). Ummm ... I won't detail everyone I met, but they are all super sweet and funny. It was neat to see Ray and Dee around one of their own kids, it was such a great day with them. And the 'great-grand-kids are super cute too. 5, 7, 9 and 12. The girl is 12 and I was talking to her trying to remember what I liked to do when I was that age and the reality set in that that was way to long ago for me to be relatable, so we just talked about school. But the boys were hil-ar-i-ous !!!!!!! DID NOT know that is what conversations kids that age had. The 9 year old was really intelligent and explaining the ratings of the Star Wars movies he had and the other two were punching him and interrupting with their little lisps. The 7 year old said "fart", got the standard pat on the head from close by, not even glancing down, parent and the standard "watch the language, please". They showed me tricks with their mittens and we talked about "Iggy" (Jerome Iginla) and how his penalty minutes were high, but so was his scoring and when he got in a fight, he made sure it was a good one. etc.

Safe to say, I was highly amused, entertained and was a little bit smarter leaving that conversation. Oh. And a little bit happy I don't have children. You have to tell them not to say 'fart'? I forgot about the whole keeping kids properly mannered and all that jazz, I thought they were just cute and said funny things and everyone laughed. I also forgot that the parents had to do so much more than dress them and brush their hair and teeth and go to Aunt Dee's for brunch. Theres stuff involved - like rearing them to be respectable citizens of society and guiding them to be mature and well-adjusted adults. I don't think I'm ready for that responsiblity anyway, so maybe its best I'm not pro-creating at this particular time.

And thats all. I met Julie in Kensington for coffee and shopping. Her shopping of course , not me. And now I'm home safe and quiet for the evening making plans for 2010. I have lots of them and only 12 months to accomplish them so I better get crackin' !!

Peace Yo. Peace on Earth. You know, smoke the Peace Pipe - whatever your peace is. Peace Out.

xo

LL

One Last Loud Talker Post

I find this so interesting ....I wish with all my heart that I wasn't aware that this world exists at 10 am ... I'd rather be working. But this guy is so intriguing.

I got here earlier today to avoid him for a minute, but he was here, exhibiting all aforementioned characteristics. Slow walking, deliberate glances around the room as he makes his way toward the magazine section, stands with hands in his pockets, rocking on his heels while he scans the rack for the most suitable reading for his intellect level and class ranking. He bends at the waist to peer closer to his desired selection to ensure he's making the right decision, all the while keeping a close eye on the door inspecting all patrons as they enter. He narrows his search down to 3 and brings the titles that met his criteria back to his highly visible table.

Today I am unaware of any conversation he's having as I've actually remembered to bring my earbuds and am rocking out to Matt Maher, BUT he's sitting, (I forgot to mention yesterday, he takes up all the space he can, crossing his legs so his feet are in the way when people walk by so he has to make a big effort to move out of their way and gets annoyed when they have to come back the same way from the bathroom and he has to make the same movement to allow them access again) and got up and rearranged the chairs around his table to accomodate what one would assume to be more guests. Sure enough, two beautiful women show up, seemingly willing to join him with fancy, foamy drinks in hand and proceed to talk. Amongst THEMSELVES.

HE IS IGNORING THEM, STILL READING HIS NON-PURCHASED MAGAZINE!!

With his head so casually cocked to the side, he'll occassionally grin and nod, and every once in a while a pronounced yawn will escape, while exercising his right to indifference and showing these women whose controlling this situation ....

Now he's animatedly involved in the dialogue and said used periodicals are placed on the table to show these lucky, lucky women that they are now worthy of his attention.

Its like watching a Charlie Chaplin movie. But in vibrant color and without the jerky movements. Just the jerk. (just joking - I'm sure he's a great guy? - is that what I'm supposed to say?)

So I have to go now and stop people watching and start job-watching.

xo
L.

Creepy Loud Talker Strikes Again ....

So remember the guy I made a FaceBook status about - The Starbucks guy? Loudtalker, Longtalker, bragging about how much he tips at a restaurant? Critizing the 22 year old for making the wrong investments? How he was having trouble finding a good girl to date? He's a total know-it-all and the entire cafe knew his levels and areas of expertise ..... Welllll, anyway, I'm back at Star and sure enough, dude walks in, looks around, finds the only free chair .....
RIGHT ACROSS THE TABLE FROM ME.
"Is this seat taken?" he politely asks.
"Ummmm, er, uh, no, go ahead", I mumble while avoiding eye contact and quelling the quickly rising and rapidly approaching panic.
He's being very quiet, just reading "Beautiful Kitchen" type magaines, smiling and laughing at various text messages he's receiving.
BUT
The funny part of this story is:
Theres a guy at a small table beside us, quietly working away on his comp, gets a call, answers it, and is having a professional conversation, super quiet and seems like a normal, decent business man.
And 'having-a-quiet-day-loud-talker-know-it-all' keeps looking over at him and sighing, then looks at me with pursed lips and rolls his eyes.
Its pretty funny.

And this pic - totally unrelated. Its just me and my attached at the hip friend. And I am truly (heres that 'b' word I think is so cheesy) blessed to have her. I often forget how important it is to have friends who hold you accountable to your stupidness. We are each other's 'accountability police'. Its easy when you move away from your best friends/sisters who will make sure you aren't doing dumb things and making silly decisions that are self centered and do what you think is best for just you ... I love that these great women come into my life and are having a very profound and positive impact on me.

We took tickets and directed people in the general direction of their seats. Our small group prepared and served desserts, and ushered. JD and I were commissioned as far from the kitchen as possible.
Apparently, we brought "a sense of joy and humor" to the ticket takin' job. Yay Team Awesome!

Gotta run,
battery is dying and I have work to do .....

xo

Lee

omgoodnesssss .... He's on the phone now saying "yeah, well that means I'll have to call someone, and I don't call people, they call me. Just like I don't buy drinks at the bar" ..... its girls who buy me the drinks just to keep me around . He's totally flirting with a girl and then says to her "Well, I better go a meet my girlfriend for lunch".

Ughhhhh ..... And this is part of the dating pool I am now stuck with having to choose from ....

Yeah.

I. AM. SO. LUCKY.

More Blogs on Operation Backpack-ish Stuff

Below is link to photographer who was present last night

http://rwphotocalgary.blogspot.com/

Below is link to Ryan(Kyle ;-)'s blog (this is his initiative, bringing it to Calgary from Vancouver)
http://www.streetlighttrackscalgary.blogspot.com/

Operation Backpack

Hello All,

The Operation Backpack Party was last night down by the River in Calgary, hosted by Streetlight, in turn hosted by Maria. There were 600 backpacks purchased, and filled with a fairly specific list, donated, and given out to the homeless last night. There were firefighters passing out blankets, Crave cupcakes, Starbucks hot chocolate and coffee, homemade chili, packages of socks, toiletries, and clothes were available as well.

Enjoy the pics, I'll try commentary on each one. Below is Streetlights blog, its good readin' !

http://streetlightcalgary.blogspot.com/

We gathered on three nights (Tues, Wed and Thur) to sort through the donated backpacks. I was only there on Wed and Thurs, but in sorting through them, we ensured each pack contained items from the list. 'Encouraging note' was one of the requirements, and while people really do mean well, some of the notes were simply inapproriate in that they were preachy and "HERES HOW YOU CAN TURN YOUR LIFE AROUND ...." kind of stuff. The kind of stuff that would only insult or piss off some poor, cold kid huddled under a bridge. So we'd read them out to get a group consensus on whether or not they should stay in or be left out.

Alyssa piled on top of the unsorted backpacks to show the amount of work ahead of us, and the amazing generosity of Calgary. The city really pulls through in this kind of thing. Like, the Mustard Seed Shine a thon and I heard on another radio station that they raised $109,000 in a day for the needy.

Strategizing with Maria for the next nights mayhem. She had a handy little map, complete with firefighters drawn in red ... very cute.

Sorting .... Ryan (in black tee) who I called Kyle (same kind of name!) a couple of times and was curious as to why he wouldn't answer me .... what a geek I am. Mark, Maria's assistant from England, Dan (in Wranglers), one of the Streetlight Drivers (I'm pretty sure that's his role besides making us crack up with his gruff, no fluff approach and crazy stories) Maria is tucked in there too.

More sorting ... Alyssa in blue, Sean in Spider tee (he and I passed out cupcakes last night), Brian, and Bree (another Bree, not MY Bree ;-)

Cute little note found in a pack. We kept this one. (Click on pic to enlarge)

Kingsley (Maria's Fiance) modelling a hat found in a pack. I should've gotten a side view because his nice, expensive, regular ball cap was on underneath, backwards.

View from the frontWhew, all these are sorted !!!! We were there from 7pm - 1:00am.

View from the side. What an amazing sight. We were all so tired, and sweaty, in giddy moods and FULL - Boston Pizza delivered ! We had spicy perogy pizza. Delish. You should try it sometime.

AFTER! Go back to the picture of Alyssa on top of the packs and the pile she was laying on was to the left of the Foozball table.

A few stragglers left - cleaning up the little stuff - discussing non sleeping babies, (Spider shirt guy, Sean), Maria's do not disturb eye mask (on her head), RyanKyle's new project he's starting which is a mobile cart to bring around on cold nights with food and hot chocolate and blankets etc. Such a great kid!!

2 hours after leaving my house to go get Crave Cupcakes, battling traffic, bad weather I arrived at the site at 7 to see this lineup.

Lots of new backpacks, Starbucks treats and "Thank you, God Bless You's".

This is "Spud" and someone bought and filled a pack especially for her and added the Spudnik treat for her. She was pretty excited.

Firefighter Lorne and (I forget his name, I asked him and of course I forget! Me and my memory need to have a heart to heart talk!!) Lorne helped me pass socks out. SUCH a sweetie.
The sights that make me so thankful for my health, my family, my friends and prompts me to pray for these individuals who need someone to love them.

You can see where the stations are set up.

Lauren Holly's look a-like. This husband and wife team Stephanie and Brian (he was sorting in earlier pictures) They are moving to South Africa in July as missionaries when she finishes photography at school in June. She started with Streetlight last November when she did a documentary project for school and fell in love with the concept and the people and has been coming along ever since. She's awesome. We had a fun little chat.

Sarah (Marias bridesmaid) and one of the 'kids' little girl Harmony. Isn't this baby perfect?? She was 3 months old yesterday and such a precious little bundle. Sarah is equally precious. Such a big heart ! She's moving in with us for a couple of weeks today!

Little Damion - OMGoodness he's cute and fun and spunky and cheeky. We had fun - chasing each other and all the stuff you do with hyper little kids. (He is Harmony's big brother)

FLASHBACK !!! McDonald's orange syrup - I thought I was at Sydney conference !! haha

Tyler, back from Sudan for the month of December - he's working with Samaritans Purse as an Aid Worker in Sudan, re-building churches that have been bombed by non-christian countries. SO my dream !! He's REALLY cold. We all were, but especially him who wears flipflops and 'beaters' all day everyday, where its sometimes 40 degrees. We all really like him, he's "gold" :-)

I swear, all the good ones are 27 or under - and it truly sucks. Too bad we can't remain the age we feel! Did you know that women over 35 have a better chance of being killed by a terrorist than getting married ?? Have I mentioned this before. I'm not worried about it .... really ..... I'm not .... ;-)

So Operation Backpack is over for the year, there were some left over, so Calgary Life Church is going to do something with them on Christmas Eve. I don't know the details yet, but I'm sure it'll be spectacular.

Thats it for today folks, I have to go clean the house, and get ready for the Christmas play at my church tonight - I'm a greeter !!!!! All I need is a blue vest! Julie and I are taking tickets and showing people which doors to go in. Better that than in the kitchen preparing food. Both Julie (or Julz McKoolz as she is sometimes addressed as by me) and I are not of the domestic sector and have been placed in a social role.

Feel free to pray for the people who had to utilize Streetlight last night. As I sit in my beautiful little house, having had a sound sleep in my bed with too many comforters, so warm in my $100 yoga pants, my $100 hoodie, I'm going to put my $160 high heel boots on, my fancy little purple winter coat with the funky matching scarf, my purple leather gloves with fur adorning the cuff, get in my little car thats plugged in (even my vehicle is protected from the cold) and go to my $18 million dollar church and take tickets from people dressed to the nines with updos and fresh makeup and overpriced perfumes and expensive jeans and show them to their cushioned, comfortable seat to watch a Christmas play. And under the Centre Street bridge, someone is opening up their backpack, peering in to see survival items, a couple of chocolate treats, and thats all they own. The lucky ones will somehow find a tarp and a few candles to keep them warm while the temperatures dip to -27 tonight.

I hope I'm not preaching. I sound pompous, but I'm truly not - my heart is just so broken for these guys. I have nothing against expensive things (in fact ..... lets face it - we all love nice stuff) but its easy to get caught up in our own lives and bemoan the BMW we don't have or the True Religion jeans we can't afford (me!!) and maybe we can just take a minute to remember those who truly don't have anything.

On a lighter note - my biceps are HUGE (and sore )today. (Sarah, Maria, Mark, Dan, and two others loaded 600 backpacks from the office to the Semi on Friday!) - Total body workout for 3 hours! Its great!

Guilt! Be Gone! I've skipped the gym the last two weeks ....

Okay, I'm really going now !

Peace Out ,' yo

LMD