if you're in leduc, alberta, travelling to st. albert (40 kms away) and you've already driven approx 250 km's from the most northern district of the city of calgary, drinking water and coffee out of boredom, and you have to pee ....
stop in leduc and pee.
just do it.
i know its a crazy little ramp and its inconvenient and its a crappy little esso bathroom and its raining.
but just do it.
because, and just let me tell you first hand, why you should heed your bladders advice.
because, my friend, you are going to drive to the next exit to use the facilities and that 'next exit' is a) further than you remember and b) you won't see that theres bathrooms and its not just an industrial park and / or residential until AFTER you've passed the exit, that there were, in fact, restrooms available.
this will happen twice and by then you're a) speeding (moreso than normal) and b) considering options of relief that could be / would be termed as illegal and possibly immoral.
and you're going to drive til what seems like a round trip to Calgary, and finally you're going to find St. Albert Trail and the light is going to turn red; too red to drive through.
so you're going to sit at this red light for an extensive amount of time and its still going to be raining, you know one of the reasons you didn't stop in leduc; in fact, its going to be teeming rain at this point.
the light will turn green and you will careen around the corner with overwhelming relief that a) you didn't pee on your drivers seat and b) the gas station is right ahead.
well, if by right ahead, you mean after TWO more traffic lights.
and yup, both lights WILL be red.
small tears will trickle out of your eyes; some of panic, some of pain and some to represent regret at your prior lack of planning.
eventually, both lights will turn green and you will mario-andretti-like make your way to the shell station.
you will park, but just barely.
you will run. read: sprint, into the gas station. ahhh ... you will be so relieved in about 20 seconds.
you will slow down only because there is someone else walking (like a sane person) in the same door, at approximately 3.2 seconds ahead of you.
enough time that he gets to the (only) washroom those same 3.2 seconds before you.
yeahhhhh .... thats right.
as you try to be classy (while pacing, try it sometime) and pretending to peruse the snack aisle, examining the chocolate covered raisins closer than necessary, you will curse your lazy streak, pray to the heavens, plead with your bladder to just hang on one more minute, or 6, in this case.
the guy who stole your bathroom break timeslot will finish and you will practically bodyslam him in the narrow, cardboard box-filled hallway to make it to your safe haven in time.
thats where i will end the detailed part of this
all i'm saying folks, is, if you have to pee when you're in leduc, just go pee.
